You Have No Clue What You Have Done!

It may feel like there’s nothing good that may come from what seems to be the worst at that moment.  There’s an overwhelming feeling to acclimate yourself to the saying , “When it rains, it pours” because that’s just how you’re “supposed” to feel.  You instantly become the walking attitude of what you allow to affect you.  When you’re happy you excude positivity, and when you’re sad you emit negativity.  Both are extremely magnetic, and both are within your own control.  (Share within your own discretion, it can be detrimental to ones attitude)

I’ve been there, and I’m certain you have as well.  Perhaps it may have been rock bottom or very close to it but either way we know it’s not a good feeling.  I had to find a way to get out of my own rut that I created. Some days emotions took over my entire day.  I maintained the smile on my face because on the outside people wouldn’t be able to tell that inside I felt like I was slowly dying.  

Little do they know but my closest Friends and Family had a huge part in reminding me of what it’s like to smile and truly mean it.  Something as simple as a smile, it can have so much meaning behind it.  And it may just influence someone’s entire day!  So simple yet, so meaningful. 

I didn’t realize that I made an impact and it was through what I thought was a short conversation.  I recognized that she may have been experiencing something similar to what I have.  I could feel the emotions through her smile and I knew she had used one my past tactics as she too used an Elmer’s glue stick to slap her smile on this day.  Hearing the of the passive “Hello”, while maintaining the strength to hold back the quiver in her voice to mask the lump in her throat.  She didn’t want to be there, she didn’t want to be anywhere.  She wanted to hide and forget about reality and cry, cry as loud as she could.  I had no clue what was wrong.  I hardly knew her but I knew I had to try and reminder her that whatever it was she was going through she was going to get through it and it’s going to be OK!  Just as those who I hold dear to my heart did for me.  

I didn’t know if it would make a difference but I took a chance.  If my rediscovered smile didn’t work than maybe just a few words could help.  And do you know what I was told, I was told that, that conversation that lasted probably less than 5 minutes made a huge impact.  When I was told how it affected her, I held back my own tears.  Within a few seconds I went back to where I was during my darkest period and remembered how many different people had an influence upon me.  And at that moment I realized that my hardest, most difficult, and trying times all made sense now.  I used my weakest moments in life and made it into a foundation of strength for someone else (for the record I am tearing right now knowing how much this means to me).  Who knew?  Who knew that what didn’t make sense at that time for me, would surface and it served a purpose.  Today, she shares her smile with meaning.  She’s happier when she didn’t think she could be, and she found out just as I did that it truly is going to be OK!   

Never lose sight even when it doesn’t make sense.  I have mentioned the word “moment” often because that’s exactly what it is, a moment.  And you will get through it, it’s not life lasting unless you want it to be.  The simple smile, the random act of kindness, the short conversations, or even just one word can make all the difference and would never know it.  

Purpose.  In the end everything comes together and there is a purpose behind it.  

Answers.  You won’t have them all at one time, even when you’re desperate for them.  Don’t ask “Why”.  Let it come to you and it’ll answer you in time.  

Patience. Hold this near to your heart and when you feel like you just can’t wait any longer, you will flourish within the answer. 

Be someone’s smile today.  Because sometimes that’s all the heart needs.  Embrace them with a hug because that embrace can warm the soul.  

2 thoughts on “You Have No Clue What You Have Done!

  1. Kimberlee Dixon says:

    I got teary too. I miss your smiling, positive and bubbly personality. When I need an attitude adjustment, I repeat the following: Outside my window, a new day I see and only I can determine what kind of day it will be. It works for me if I am grumpy or sad. Hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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